lately there were a couple of shows and markets with good morning - midnight. there was the modepalast in vienna and last weekend the frauenkunshandwerksmarkt ottensheim. i like doing these exhibitions even though they are so much work and i was so exhausted after that last weekend... still ottensheim was very special. well, not so much for the weather because it was raining like crazy and there were not so nice winds. but it's kind of a very impressive little city. and i liked linz. there was awesome vegetarian food and there were great bars...
after i had finished unpacking at home i had to finalize the work on a custum order... and after that i had something like a little meltdown. things were heavy these last weeks and months. i tend to not realizing how much i'm working and doing and how little rest i get. so i decided to leave the city for a couple of days. and to do some work that is really, really relaxing. i've made jam and syrup. lavender. mint. and balm. the lavender syrup is awesome. it's pink and oh so wonderful. and the jam is made of currant and black currant. next thing i'd love to do is home made soap...
"i'm laying in the soil / is it time for me to rise? / i've pulled all my stakes again / is there someone who can take me in?"
"i want to go to far away places / but momentum makes my head / ponderous and heavy / planetary rotation / is time winding down?" (rainer maria)
i need a new camera, i need new shoes, i need new clothes, i need to get out of this city, i need to go for a walk. no. i need to go hiking. i need a haircut. i need to read more books. i need to practice more yoga. i need to eat more healthy. i need to go for a swim. oh, i really, really need to go for a swim. and i need to get out of this city... did i mention that? i need to stop working all the time and start a life.
oh... and here are 10 goals for my summer. it has started already, hasn't it? 1. swim in lakes 2. go to places i've never been before, 3. read books, 4. go for long walks, 5. go hiking, 6. eat vegetables from the garden, 7. drink tea, 8. sleep outdoors, 9. make barbecues, 10. see friends and family more often.
a year ago i spent one month on a small island. i had a plan. i wanted to find the time i lost in my life here in the city. i nearly found it there, i wanted to keep it. i made plans about how i could get more valuable free time in my everyday life. how i could be able to live my life and be satisfied... with both feet on the ground and my head up in the clouds. i really had a plan and i wanted to make this work. so much.
then autumn came and winter came and i lost it. i lost my goal, my path, my plans... partly i blame the climate over here. who is able to keep his plans with all this seasonal changes? if you don't like winter and dark days you can't change that by making granola or baking cupcakes. i don't enjoy free time in winter. and in summer everything gets too stressfull. once there is june you know days are starting to get shorter in a couple of weeks. and then you wake up next morning and it's christmas. so here's another june. this time without the island because there is too much to do. and again i have the plan to get back time. and happiness. and freedom. but this time i don't have any idea how to do that...
"sometimes nothing seems clear too many squares too many chairs too many lies...
so as long as my feet can carry my heart to the place it's been searching for so long to feel illussion's real as real as the voice i always wanted to hear now i hear it at night whispering it is alright just hide out under statues don't follow serpents beyond" (dust covered carpet)