pretty things happen

"... and i'm too stupid for normal human acts i really should start with the change in me to make my visions come reality and i do believe in everything and there's nothing i can't imagine and i paint my world behind closed eyes so when i open them i start to analyse is there any change to what it's been but there ain't nothing no there ain't nothing that changed while i slept everything's still in the place it's been kept it's cause i only do see things around me..."

"and so i lock myself in and i scream into my pillow: where are you world? where are you world? you're in my head. i'm gonna set you free. i won't stop screaming. i won't stop screaming. i won't stop screaming till i explode..."

"i will begin begin to compose my life arrange my mind be on time make myself mine" (dust covered carpet)

i‘m not only not living in the real world. most of the time i only live in my head. i‘m way too slow to act. i think and think and think and sometimes nothing seems clear. nothing seems real. i‘m waiting for me to wake up of this dream and finally find a way to live in this world without closing my eyes most of the time.
i don‘t really know what happened within those last years. i‘ve been so busy, i‘ve stopped thinking, worrying... most things happend in my head and i kind of lost my goal. i don‘t know why. it‘s not that nothing ever happened. lot‘s of things happened. maybe i‘ve not been able to keep them. maybe that's what life is all about
the world has not been bad too me. life treats me so very well. sometimes everything seems just too much for me. i‘m not able to adjust. i‘m a heavy thinker and there is something i‘ve been searching for for so long. but as dust covered carpet sing, i should stop searching cause i‘m no finder. i need so much time to act. to know what‘s right and what‘s wrong. i‘ve always wanted to stand behind every step i do. i‘ve always wanted to be aware of every step and to be sure it‘s the right one.
life changes every day. i‘m changing every day. and i don't know if i'm still the person i used to be. i can‘t find better words than a friend used in his blog a couple of time ago: life is a journey. we start this journey with lots of hopes, dreams, aspirations and wishes. some goals can be reached, some get lost. one lives, is happy... and loses at the end - ones self. because at the end of every journey one is not the same than at the beginning. you lose yourself and gain... hopefully your life.

i've seen dust covered carpet at the popfest wien. and i loved them. they were not really able to reach me before... it was just too much for me. but seeing them play in front of me changed not only my love for them but it also changed me. lyrics i've listened to before finally got inside my head and my mind. i knew i'm not the only heavy searcher in the world but listening to their lyrics made me realize that things are not that bad... even if you get lost for some time. you still have music and there are still others that feel like you feel. and i won't give up... i'll find a way to live my dreams. "i'll climb and i'll fall i'll bleed and i'll weep and i'll scream and i'll give up the dream till the engine returns it's my heavy hearts beat and my feet will keep on stomping..." (dcc)